2001 Results

Standard Life v Currie & Balerno

18/07/2001	Newfield
Currie & Balerno 137 for 3 (20 overs)	Standard Life 56 all out (15.5 overs)
Mair 30, Kennedy 24, Rudd 23*	A.Ritchie 24
R.Hack 2-25, N.Clarke 1-27	Priestly 6-16

Lost By 81 Runs

C & B batted, we bowled. Mr Lobban produced a decent 4-0-12-0. It was all downhill from there. Mr Cubbon with his extra pace and random direction was reminiscent of Mr Ishrat of blessed memory (though Mr C fields better): 4-0-23-0. Mr Hardy replaced him, and was poor: 2-0-13-0. Mr Clarke's 30 ball spell was a vintage performance, randomly containing a single startlingly good delivery, which returned one surprised batsman to the pavilion. The rest was dismal: 4-0-27-1.
Mr Hack rolled up to the wicket next. A rather Clarkesque bowler, he need only try a little too hard, or perhaps close his eyes at the moment of delivery, to bowl just like Plums himself. As it was he was a little better: 4-0-25-2. Mr Ritchie also turned his arm. Those watching might have been impressed. The book just says 2-0-19-0. No luck for Lionel.

138 to get. Lionel dashed about for a respectable 24. Mr Ainslie lumbered briefly for 2 (lbw again for the not-so-fleet-of-foot Mr A). Dr Brown flailed inadequately for 5 (following some dire floundering behind the stumps). Mr Pullinger was out first ball; a dreadful, shambling swipe and he was stumped. Mr Kennedy, our great leader, departed for a measly single. Mr Topping was bowled first ball.
At this stage a man by the name of Priestley, who probably dreams of the days of his youth when, between the air raids and attacks of rickets, he used to be able to bowl as well as Mr Ainslie does now, had taken 5 wickets.

Mr Cubbon emerged, dealt a few lusty blows, and departed, dismissed in some feeble, best-forgotten manner for 11. Mr Clarke then secured another golden duck, with a shamefully lame attempt to drive one of Mr Priestley's pies. Mr Hardy scored an insufficient 6, becoming our third highest scorer. Mr Hack put together another Clarkesque performance and scored 0. Mr Lobban enjoyed his familiar 0 not out.
We scored 56 all out, losing by 81. We were very, very bad indeed. Priestley bowled like someone's elderly maiden aunt on Cleethorpes beach and got six wickets in three overs for 16 runs.
We fell to pieces like some hideous creature of the deep dragged to the surface from its home 3000 fathoms below, while onlookers' faces filled with pity and revulsion.

(With thanks to Nick Clarke).